May 12, 2015
So this year has been very intense already. We were supposed to start with our embryo adoption/ donor egg IVF whatever this year in January but then we got invited to be a confirmation sponsor, baptism sponser a wedding and a conference in a major city.... I really wanted to participate in these things and it's been hard to get over the idea that I can't get pregnant with my own eggs so call it what you want, procrastination etc... but I wanted to do this with my husband and to take a moment and step back. Getting my heat around not getting pregnant on my own eggs... it's hard, very, very hard... and I needed a break.
Well, during this time I've been taking meticulous notes on my period... and my last one was on March 22. I didn't think about it.. I admit, I dropped the ball, lost track... and day before yesterday I went to have my throat checked for strep at the minute clinic and she asked about the last period... and I realized that I didn't have a period in April. She said, we'll are you SURE you're not pregnant. Of course not, ovaries are toast... no way... no way I say.
It stewed in my brain for a day or so and last night I finally took a pregnancy test... sure enough.. NOT pregnant. Sigh... well, if I'm not pregnant, then where or where is my damn period... and I feel like a high school or college student waiting, waiting, waiting and scared to death... but I want a baby.
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